Renouveau
by CherryKind
Summary: Yuuya contemplates his life and what will come.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** After a long hiatus, I'm finally back to writing stuff. I luv the birdy brothers lemme tell u

This is in the shapeshifter AU (where the birds can choose to be in bird form or human form). Quotes from the epilogue might not be 100% accurate. Enjoy!

 **Warnings:** Death mentions, alcohol

* * *

For the record, Yuuya had no plans to live after being poisoned by the doctor's scalpel. Leone returning to save him, when he was teetering on the edge of life and dead, was never something he would have expected nor did he feel like it was something he deserved.

He contemplated, as he was pulled up and a needle was pushed into his arm, that living on after this would have its pros and cons.

His brother, his little brother he had sacrificed everything for, thought he was dead. Perhaps he wasn't mourning him like one would normally mourn a brother, but he could hear the genuine sadness and panic in Sakuya's voice as he desperately grabbed Yuuya's jacket.

The only good thing that he could think of in that moment that would justify living would be to see Sakuya again. He just wanted to see his brother again.

 _"Yuuya!"_

In Leone's arms, he couldn't hear what his handler was saying to him as he was being pulled to his feet. Sakuya's anguished cry was playing over and over in his head, like a broken record, blocking out everything around him. He felt a steady hand on his back.

He threw up on the floor and his eyes were burning.

Why was he still alive?

* * *

That day in the lab with his brother and the doctor seemed so long ago now. By his calendar, it had been 7 months. He had other things to do once he was back on his feet after the incident. Of course, Leone had given him proper time to heal, but he was still an agent for the Dove Party, no matter if their trust in him was strained now.

Jobs had taken precedence over going to see his brother for those 7 months. Not that he would rather work on a job than see Sakuya, but he didn't know what he would say. What could he say? _'I know you thought I died, but I'm okay now and I want to be apart of your life now that you know my secret'?_

How idiotic. He always told himself that on the lonely nights when he finally allowed himself to beat himself up over it. All these years, he was thinking that once he finally got that weight off his chest, whenever that was, he would feel like a new man.

And yet he was here, in a hotel room, on some undeniably important (but at the same time, seemingly useless) mission, drinking so much he would pass out before too long. Anything to stop the voices screaming at him for a little while.

He still remembered Sakuya's number. After typing in the first few numbers on his phone, a new one he had been given after his cover was blown at St. PigeoNation's, he threw it off the side of the bed, hearing it thump on the carpet.

Too much of a security risk. He needed to drink more.

* * *

Sakuya's reaction to seeing him again had been what he had expected. Shock, horror, then anger because it seemed as if Yuuya had planned it all along.

The only difference was Yuuya had expected to be hit; Sakuya was known for his violent tantrums and had no qualms with physically assaulting someone in a fit of rage.

But the young aristocrat refrained. He was furious and his fists were clasped so tightly at his sides, Yuuya thought his palms might bleed, but he didn't take a step towards him.

"Madness!"

"Why, if it isn't my darling little brother. Salutations!" Yuuya gave him a sharp-witted smile, his hands in his coat pockets.

"You scum! You villain!" Sakuya now walked toward him, grabbing his coat tightly in his fists and shaking him as hard as he could, "Explain yourself! Why are you still alive?!"

"Why? Well, for starters, I could never bring myself to leave all the ladies sad and alone." Yuuya didn't reach up to try to pry Sakuya's accusing hands from his clothing; at least he was taking his anger out in a way other than punching him.

"How much must you mock me before you'll be satisfied?!" Sakuya was practically screeching at him, mere inches from his face. This closeness allowed Yuuya to notice the tears brimming the younger's eyes.

Neither of the two had much time to register what was happening when a strong hand reached out and plucked Sakuya from Yuuya's jacket, setting him back a few feet. Yuuya looked past the startled aristocrat to the tall blonde man that stood behind him, a cautious hand still on his brother's shoulder.

"Hello again."

"Leone!"

"Truth be told," Yuuya tilted his head towards his handler, "Leone here gave me an antidote. I was loitering around on the border between life and death and he pulled me back up in a miraculous revival."

"But he said he was going to recover your body!"

Sakuya was in tears now. One couldn't tell from the sound of his voice, but two drops had run down the sides of his face, leaving wet streaks in their wake. Yuuya didn't know if he was crying because he was angry or crying because he was relieved. Likely not the latter.

"I don't recall saying I was going to recover his corpse." So it had been Leone's plan all along to save him. Even Yuuya hadn't known that. He supposed it wouldn't be nice to go back to their superiors and tell them he had let one of his agents die.

"Lunacy! Madness! Inconceivable!" Sakuya stumbled away, grasping a nearby table for support. "Give it back!" he rasped, "Give me back the time and mental energy I spent mourning you!"

"You mourned me? I'm flattered." That sounded so careless; Yuuya found it bewildering that Sakuya had mourned his loss at all, much less openly admitted it.

"Gah!" His brother almost sounded like he was in pain, slouched over the table with his fingers wrapped around the edge so hard that his knuckles had gone white. Yuuya took a step towards him, but Leone reached out and grabbed his sleeve only for a moment as a warning.

"We can't stay long, Yuuya. It's time to set out on our next mission." Yuuya could feel the older man's eyes drilling into his back. He couldn't protest and it would end up looking unprofessional even if he did. He always had to keep up the calm and smooth act.

"Roger that. Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings:** Implied abuse

* * *

Yuuya didn't see any of his old friends anymore. He was busy, for one thing, but even after letting Sakuya know he was alive, he didn't feel any better about seeing him, or anyone else for that matter, again. Sakuya was angry. He was always angry.

He asked Leone for a break. Doing missions non-stop for months on end was wearing him down. Maybe his handler could see he was simply too exhausted to do anything else and would be of no use or maybe he could tell something was wrong, but either way, he let the agent go for some personal time.

He rented a little run-down apartment and settled there for a while. It wasn't so bad; not having to get up at the crack of dawn was something new to him and he did enjoy the peacefulness. It was just the lonliness that got to him.

But he supposed, in his line of work, he would always end up being surprised somehow, even if it wasn't by an armed rival. It was 3 AM and his phone was ringing.

"Hello?" the fantail's voice was clouded with sleep, the phone not entirely pressed to his ear.

"Sakazaki." The voice on the other end was quiet and distant, but familiar. Yuuya rubbed his face, his mind racing as he tried to think of any possible reason his little brother was calling him. How did he even get his number?

"Sakuya? What's wrong?" he slurred. Sakuya wouldn't call in the middle of the night for nothing. Yuuya threw the covers back and slipped off the bed, struggling to hold the phone between his ear and shoulder while he fumbled for his pants on the dark floor.

"I require your assistance. I realize it's early, but I n-need you to come get me." Despite the stern, commanding tone of Sakuya's voice, the slight tremble in the middle of his sentence didn't escape Yuuya.

"Are you alright?"

"No, I'm going to freeze before you get here, you imbecile!"

"You haven't told me where you are!" This early, Yuuya didn't have the patience for teasing the younger fantail. He had a million questions to ask his brother, but he supposed he had to go pick him up first.

After a few minutes of trying to deduce where Sakuya was, Yuuya was dressed and heading out to retrieve the whiny aristocrat. It was a good 15 minute walk, but he did eventually happen upon the corner where a young man was standing under a streetlight, hugging himself no doubt for warmth.

"What are you doing out here?" The older of the two demanded; no time for a greeting. Sakuya turned his head sharply to face Yuuya, already angry it seemed, but he hesitated for a moment.

"I need s-somewhere to stay. It seems you're my only option at this time. Be grateful," he snapped frigidly. Yuuya raised an eyebrow, stuffing his own cold hands into the pockets of his coat.

"And you couldn't have told me that over the phone? Why are you not home? Why can you not stay with someone else? You can't just give me that and expect me to go with it without question."

"I'll answer you when we get to your home! I'd rather not freeze to death." Sakuya was already walking past him in the direction Yuuya had come, prompting the older of the two to head after him, letting out an exasperated sigh.

* * *

Sakuya wasn't dressed to be out in cold weather. He at least knew to wear a heavier coat and scarf if he was going out, but he was just dressed in his usual attire which led Yuuya to believe he hadn't intended to go out to start with. He couldn't help profiling the man, it was automatic.

"Are you going to explain yourself now?" he asked as he shut the door behind them.

Sakuya was rapidly rubbing his shoulders, tense with his head down, going over to sit at the dining table.

"I had...a minor disagreement at home. Nothing more. It was in mine and Father's best interest not to see each other for a bit," he finally muttered.

Yuuya stood dumbfoundedly in the doorway for a second before deciding tea would warm his brother up and perhaps calm both of their nerves. He headed to the kitchen and filled a kettle with water, placing it on the stove top.

"That's unsurprising. What was this _'minor disagreement'_ about?"

"Must you know every aspect? It doesn't affect anything now," Sakuya replied briskly, but not as rudely as Yuuya would have expected. At least he seemed to be warming up a bit and surely he was tired because his responses lacked their usual bite.

"Yes, it does. I need to know _why_ you have to crash here for a while and why you were out wandering the streets this early in the morning. Did he kick you out?" Yuuya wasn't looking back to see Sakuya's reaction; he knew he would be angry at Yuuya for making such an accusation anyway.

But he didn't. He didn't say a word.

Yuuya didn't ask again or even bring anything else pertaining to the issue up. Sakuya, for once, wasn't up for talking.

"Are you hungry?"

"...Yes."

The most he could do now was make him some toast and tea, but he had a feeling Sakuya wouldn't turn it down.

When the meal was completed, Yuuya brought the plate and mug over to the table, sitting it down in front of the fantail who looked like he might fall asleep at any time. When he raised his head though, Yuuya could see, just barely in the dim lighting, that the left side of Sakuya's face was beginning to bruise. Not directly on his eye, but close enough.

"Sakuya, what happened to you?" he demanded, standing up abruptly to grab the edge of his brother's face and tilt it up towards the light. Sakuya's eyes widened and he didn't seem to know how to react at first, but he quickly swatted the offending hands away a second later.

"Don't touch me, mongrel!"

"Who hurt you? Was it him?" Yuuya snapped. No, this was just too much. He knew the man, the man that Sakuya called his father, was awful, but to hit Sakuya? No amount of rage excused that. And it also begged the question, just what had Sakuya done that made him that angry?

Sakuya sank back into his chair, as did Yuuya a second later, his head lowered and staring into the cup of tea in front of him.

"Just...leave it be, Yuuya. Please."

Yuuya peered at him for a long moment, not sure he had heard him right. It wasn't often Sakuya said _'please'_ to anyone, much less Yuuya. And he didn't call him by his name much either.

"..."

The older brother sat in silence as the younger began to eat slowly, then ravenously, like he hadn't eaten in quite a while. He only slowed down once the toast was gone and he leaned back in the chair to sip the tea.

"Where can I sleep?" he questioned, breaking the silence a bit later.

"I only have my bed so unless you're keen on sharing it with me, the sofa." Yuuya wanted to smile at his own joke, but he couldn't muster the energy. It didn't even sound like a joke. Sakuya didn't act offended at it either. Maybe things would be back to normal in the morning.

After putting the dishes in the sink and gathering up some extra blankets and pillows for Sakuya, they remained quiet, Yuuya only sparing a soft "good night", which wasn't returned, before heading back to his bedroom.


End file.
